Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Haikus' Curse
by RandomGeek
Summary: What would happen if Apollo made Percy write that haiku about what happened to him in the Titan's Curse? Pure chaos.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson. There you heard me say it so now will you not sue?**_

"Percy I'm still waiting." Apollo said, appearing out of thin air. He was in human form.

"What are you doing here? And what are you waiting for? Don't tell me you saw another prophecy saying I would die?"

"The haiku." Apollo said like he couldn't believe Percy forgot about something that important.

"What haiku?" Percy tried to remember anything about a haiku because one thing that he'd learned about Apollo was Apollo + Haiku = BAD, VERY, VERY, VERY BAD.

"Let me explain this with the power of poetry, I feel a haiku coming on." He raised his hands dramatically like whenever he wanted people to pay attention.

"Oh great." Percy grumbled

Apollo didn't pay attention to that and cleared his throat

_Percy promised Fred_

_Good haiku about journey_

_Apollo's hair rocks_

"Now do you remember?" Apollo asked

"I was hoping you'd forget." Percy muttered. Then he said more audibly "But I've made up a haiku in my life!"

"It's never too late to start."

"But, but…"

"Now, now Percy. I know you want to thank me for getting you started on writing such a great thing and tell me my tan is perfect but now's not the time. I'll let you have some privacy to get started writing." And with that Apollo glowed and disappeared with a flash of golden light. Percy walked over to the TV and started playing on his PS2; he wasn't actually going to write a haiku.

_~5 minutes later~_

"Did you finish your haiku?" This time he was in 15-foot tall form, it could freak anybody out.

"Ahhh!!!" Percy yelled and almost hit the ceiling. The words GAME OVER were written on the screen. Percy was really mad at that moment; he almost passed World 3 for the first time in his life and probably would have if Apollo hadn't shown up. "Not yet, can you give me an hour?"

"Fine, but I'm expecting a really good haiku after that." And he disappeared again.

_~59 minutes later~_

Percy had almost passed World 5 but this time he was prepared so he made sure he saved the game. Great, he thought, he still hadn't written a haiku yet and Apollo was due back any minute.

Not wanting to offend him and end up as a Percy Pancake and have half the world blown up he quickly got a piece of paper and started writing the first thing that came into his mind down. Even his dyslexia seemed to cooperating/not want the world blown up; fewer words than usual were jumbled up.

Thank the gods, he thought, that he had to learn how to write haikus at Goode. He was barely paying attention, who would? All he remembered was something about the first line being 5 syllables, the second being 7 and the last line being 4 syllables, no wait it was 5. In the end his poem looked something like this:

_I was forced to write_

_Haiku about the journey_

_Percy almost died_

It was the best and only haiku he'd ever written. Right when he was putting his pencil down Apollo came. He was in normal form again, Percy was wondering why he couldn't stick to one form.

"So, are you finished the haiku yet."

Percy handed the sheet of paper to Apollo, but he regretted it in an instant. He just realized that Apollo might be madder at him for writing terrible poetry than no poetry because he was the god of poetry too. And he also realized that Apollo was having an affect on him, not only did he write a haiku but now he thought about poetry. While he was writing his will, Apollo looked at him teary eyed. I made a god cry with my bad haiku, he thought, I'm dead.

"Percy that was possibly the best poem I've ever read. I don't cry, but I'll have to make an exception for this. It's the best thing I've ever read, "Percy almost died," "I was forced to write," "Haiku about journey," you should be a poet."

"So you're not going to blow me up?"

"And make the world suffer such a great loss, never. In fact I should reward you for your work, do you want a rat?"

"Uh, no thanks." Suddenly Hermes appeared, looking normal with what looked like a client. She was in 20s, and in Percy's opinion, looked a bit like the kids from the Hermes cabin, the claimed ones, and had been spending too much time with Thalia.

"George, you knew I was with Sam so why did you bring me here?"

"Sam, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Where have you been all my life? "

"Avoiding you, Dad do you have any sales going on?"

"No, not really, why?"

"I have a few half-bloods, Demeter's I think, that want to ship flowers to Manhattan but think the prices are unreasonable. They say if the prices stay that high then they're going to send them some other way, I think they said Fed-Ex or UPS."

"What, our prices are not unreasonable!" Hermes said, outraged.

"Whatever, I'll tell them that the prices are staying the same." And she left.

"Call me." Said Apollo while Hermes said

"Wait… maybe it could be cheaper. Come Back!" But she either didn't hear or was ignoring them because she didn't come back

"Back to why I dragged you here," George yelled "I'll write a haiku for that rat."

"Let's see what you got."

_Rats are delicious_

_Would Apollo the Awesome_

_Give George a nice rat _

"No, no, just not rat worthy material," Apollo said "You should take tips from this boy and write a good haiku."

"Would you give me a rat, Hermes?" George asked

"Not after you ruined a sale and called Apollo _"awesome."_ Like his ego needed to get any bigger.

"Hey! My ego is not big. Anyway got to go, Hephaestus TV has a special on "The Best of The Quests". It seems good. Or the reaction will be anyway"

"What's it called?" Hermes asked

"The Percabeth moments."

"I gotta see that." And he disappeared the way he appeared.

"Good luck with your girlfriend." Apollo said

"She's not my girlfriend!" But Apollo had already disappeared

"Percy, guess what?" Sally said, coming through the door with her arms filled with groceries. "I signed you up for the best romantic haiku contest. You could write one about Annabeth, I mean what girlfriend wouldn't love that?"

"Mom."

"Yeah?"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

_**So how was it? Tell me what you think, come on just hit the button and type a few sentences.**_

_**RaNdOmGeEK**_


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